No Clue Part 1
by Neon Wish Likes Pine Trees
Summary: When the nations meet the states, all hell breaks loose. What else can I say? UTTER CHAOS! Oh, and who am I? I'm Emmaline Jones, the beloved capitol of the cool US of the A. Nice too meet you. Oh, and welcome to crazy. T for Triceratops, language and Texas.


Disclaimer: No, I sadly don't own Hetalia.

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Bang bang! America hit a gavel on the table.

"I call this meeting to start!" England sighed as America shouted.

"Today, three of my states are coming! Two of them want to be independent countries and the other is here for moral support." America announced excitedly. England did an excellent spit-take with his tea.

"The states are your children. Da? Russia said.

"BLOODY HELL! I'M A GRANDFATHER!" England screamed with shock. America stepped aside to reveal three girls. One was tanned, tall, had black hair and almond shaped brown eyes. The next looked exactly like a girl version of Russia, scarf and all. She had a pistol in a holster on her belt and a hunting riffle strapped to her back. Her face showed no emotion. Finally, the last girl had light brown hair, blue eyes and she held a long crab net.

"OKAY! This is Hawaii, Alaska and Maryland. Hawaii and Alaska want to become independent countries! " The 'Hero' proclaimed. Hawaii gave Japan a small glare. Maryland smiled and Alaska narrowed her eyes at Russia. England fainted. The three states sat in extra chairs. Alaska poured herself a glass of vodka, then Russia snatched the glass away.

"No vodka for you. It is too strong." He calmly told her. Alaska stood up. She slammed her hands on the table.

"You will give me my vodka!' She growled with a thick Russian accent. She flipped out a switchblade and sharpened her nails.

"She sounds exactly like Russia!" Norway gasped as Austria played suspenseful music. Alaska was about to lunge at him when the door burst open. A girl with curly brown hair, blue eyes and a pistol on her belt ran in.

"Kawaii Hawaii! You forgot your lunch. So did these idiots." She smirked. Maryland sighed.

"Hello Tex." As quick as lightening, Alaska leapt at Tex and the two began to fight. They ended up with guns at each other's throats.

"Shut up and go home Texas. This is a meeting for independent countries, not bitchy states." Maryland yelled and pulled Alaska off of Texas.

"Then why are you here, Mar-Mar?" Tex taunted.

"I'm here to make sure Allie won't kill you!" Maryland pointed at Alaska who was loading her rifle. Tex narrowed her eyes and stomped out the door. Moments later, they heard someone cry out.

"MY CAR!" Alaska had shot Tex's car. She took a swig from a bottle of vodka.

"Zolotoy! I said you shouldn't drink!" Russia scolded. Alaska-Zoltoy's eyes narrowed.

"My name is not Zoltoy." She said slowly. "I am not her anymore. I am called Allie ya asshat!" She stormed out.

"Mar..." America nodded at Maryland, who saluted and raced after her. America turned to Russia with fire in his eyes.

"Russia, leave my child alone."He demanded. Russia glared back.

"You are not her father. I am!" He scowled. The other countries were shocked.

"Well, that makes sense.." Germany muttered. "The child and Russia are practically the same."

"Then you should start acting like her father!" America spat and walked out the door. Hawaii sighed and sat down in her dad's seat.

"As the current rep of the USA, I invite all of the nations, including Russia to meet the 50 states, including the territories and District, since Allie and I are no longer under America's control." Hawaii said.

"Hawaii, are you stirr mad at me?" Japan quietly asked. Hawaii turned towards him.

"I am a little frustrated about the bombing of Pearl Harbor. But war is war. I forgive you, Dad."

"I am joyfur to hear that Keao." All of the states gawked over the fact that Hawaii was Japan's daughter.

"Then it is decided. I will send our most capable driver, the state of New York to pick you up tomorrow!" And with that, the meeting ended. Russia went home angry. England went home worried the original 13 would kill him. Japan went home content. Tomorrow will hold many surprises.

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The next morning, a large truck pulled up to where the nations were waiting. A boy hopped out. He had light brown skin, chocolaty eyes and dark brown hair.

"Hello. I'm New York, aka Sam Jones. Call me York." York said with a smile. "Hop in. I'll drive ya to the manor. Be lucky I'm here to drive you, not that dumb-ass Jersey!" They arrived within a few hours. Halfway through the drive, York tied France to the roof. The manor was a shimmery blue. York noticed their gazes.

"Dad let California choose the color." He explained. Hawaii greeted them inside.

"First, we'll meet Florida. He should be in the greenhouse." They fallowed her out to the greenhouse. A boy with tan skin and black hair was tending oranges.  
"Yo Florida!" Hawaii called out. Florida ran over. His blue-brown eyes were... different.

"Hello." He said softly. "I'm Florida. Or Florence Jones."

"Florida, these are the nations." He looked up at them.

"Pleased to meet you." He ran off. Hawaii scratched her head.

"Florida is very shy. Next, I'll take you to Oklahoma." They went back into the manor. In an empty hallway, Hawaii knocked on a door. There was a faint squeaking. She threw open the door. A girl with light brown hair and grey eyes was hog-tied on the floor. Hawaii rushed to untie her.

"Texas?" She asked. The girl nodded.

"Thanks Hawaii!" Her gaze turned to the nations. "Oh, hello. I'm Oklahoma, or Annie Jones. Pleasure to meet you. I've heard a lot about all of you from Daddy." She ran up to Austria and smiled.

"I love your music Mr. Austria! May we play something together?" She dragged him over to a piano. Then, they began to play. **(A/N: The song is Chopin no. 26)  
** It was amazing. When they were done, Austria actually smiled.

"You are very talented!" Oklahoma blushed.

"Mich, we need you in Oak's studio." Hawaii said into a radio. Mere seconds later, a boy with blond hair and blue-green eyes fell out of the air vent.

"Texas?" He asked. Hawaii nodded.

"When I catch her, I'll hand her over to the Dakota twins." He sprinted out of the room.

"And that is Michigan, aka Michel Jones. Now, on to Massachusetts." England paled at the states name. Hawaii laughed at his expression.

"I'll try to not let Mass kill you!" They entered another room.

"Who are these people, Hawaii?" A boy demanded.

"That's a face I'll never forget.." England murmured. Massachusetts had dyed blond hair and brown eyes. He looked at England.

"FILTHY BASTARD! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?" He roared.

"Long time no see Massachusetts." England said weakly. Mass let out a string of curse words and lunged at him. Quickly, two kids slid in front of him. One grabbed Mass's wrist and the other coldly spoke to him.

"You should go Robert." The other let go of his wrist and Massachusetts ran. The kids turned to face him. They were a boy and a girl who looked exactly like England. He gasped.

"Hello! I'm West Virginia, or Amelia Jones, but you can call me West!" The girl had a British accent.

"And I'm Virginia, or Jefferson Jones. Call me Gin." The boy had the same rich accent.

"It's lunch time! Want to have pasta with us?" The twins asked in sync.

"PASTA!" Italy yelled.

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Alaska was already in the kitchen eating. Russia flinched as she glared at him.

"Zoltoy, I'm sorry." Russia knelt next to her.

"I don't want to hear anymore excuses! You sold me to America. WHY?" She exploded. There was a sharp intake of breath from other nations.

"You SOLD her?" Germany, Spain, France and England roared.

"It was the Cold War. I couldn't take care of her and I knew America would-." He tried to explain.

"So you thought America could be a better father? You thought he could protect me? I DON'T NEED PROTECTION! You have the strongest army in the world anyway!" She ran out of the room and slammed the door. The sound of her crying faded away.

"Alaska!" Canada sprinted after her to console his upset friend. The other nations looked at Russia angrily.

"Bastard!" A few snarled. America stormed in. His gaze fixated on Russia.

"Leave!" He growled. Russia sighed and left. His glare switched to Hawaii.

"Keao Jones. How dare you let them into my home! He roared.

"It's Keao Honda." She said, using Japan's last name. She glared at him coldly. "You don't make every decision. Everyone, even Alaska said they could come. SHE STILL LOVES RUSSIA YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" She cursed at him. Canada ran into the room and cursed at his brother in French.

"Amérique stupide" He then ran out again.

"Canada's first curse! Stupid America!" France cried. The noise of a cough came from behind him. A girl with extremely pale skin, hipster glasses and long black hair was there.

"Yes Maine?" Hawaii sighed.

"Florida, Mississippi, York and I are going to visit Mar and Delaware. Anyone want to go with us? I'm Maine, or Mai Jones. Oh, and there will be pasta!" Maine sang, literally.

"PASTA! GERMANY, WE HAVE TO GO!" Italy begged.

"Fine." Germany agreed. France, England and Prussia agreed to go on the awesome road trip.

"Well, lets go! It's only about an hour from here. Mar-Mar will provide everything!" She grabbed Prussia's wrist and pulled him out the door.

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1 hour later because I'm lazyyyyyyyyyyy

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Maryland lived in a nice blue-gray house with her sister Delaware. Maine kicked the door.

" Yo Adel! For the love of lobsters, open up the freaking door!" A girl with long, dark brown hair and blue eyes opened up the door.

"Oh, hey Maine, Missi, Yorkie and Flo. Who are these people?" A girl, who France presumed to be Delaware asked.

" These are some of the nations. Germany, France, England and Prussia." Florida, usually quiet spoke up. Delaware smiled a blinding smile.

" Hello! My name is Adelica Jones, but call me Adel. Pleased to meet you. I'm the personification of Delaware, the first state. Don't listen to that annoying bitch Ginny." Maine snorted.

"Nice. Ginny..."

"Anyway, come on in! Anya, or Maryland is making crab pasta." Adel pranced into the house, with the four states and five countries following her. Out of nowhere, a big, fuzzy, brown puppy tackled Adel.

"Down Metgezel! Down girl!" Adel shoved the dog off of her.

"This scruffy puppy is Metgezel, my Newfoundland. Metgezel, say hello!" Metgezel jumped up and gave the countries and states sloppy licks.

"Aah! Germany! Save me-a from the puppy!" Italy whimpered.

"Italy, it is only a puppy." Germany lifted Metgezel off Italy with ease. The nations entered the kitchen, where Maryland was standing over a pot.

"Oh. Hey guys! Uh... What are the nations doing here?" She asked.

"Escaping from the American-Russian-Alaskan war about to erupt. And, we wanted PASTA." Mississippi cheered.

"Ok! So, Flo, Missilani (me-sil-yani), Sam, Mai, Adel, Germany, France, Italy and zhe awesome Prussia, behold my amazing CRAB PASTA!" Anya served the awesome PASTA and everyone loved it. It was perfect, with buttery noodles, delectable tomato sauce and crab meat.

"Whoo! Anya! This is awesome!" Florida (surprisingly) yelled.

"But not as awesome as zhe awesome Prussia!" Hungary randomly flew in and hit Prussia upside the head with her pan.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTimeskip...meanwhile at the manor...

"FUCK YOU JERSEY! YOU ATE MY MAPLE SYRUP!" Vermont, or Lacy Jones rugby-tackled New Jersey, or Tom Jones to the ground. The two rolled past the kitchen.

"So, is it rike this arot?" Japan asked.

"Hai!" Keao yelled over Lacy and Tom screaming. Alaska stormed into the room.

"BE QUIET YOU STUPID IMBECILES!" All went silent.

"Lasky! We gotta get to the theatre! Our act is in ten minutes!" Hawaii remembered. Alaska's purple eyes widened.

"Oh shit!" And with that, the tropical and frozen girl sprinted from the room.

"Excuse me, what is the theatre?" Japan asked.

"It isn't really a theatre. It's basically a karaoke bar, bar and performing center. Oh, and I'm Hyacinth, or Rhode Island, lead singer of the states band, Hellfire. You guys have got to see us preform!" A short brunette lead the countries into a room, hidden behind a painting.

"Welcome to The Volcano, the craziest place in the states.


End file.
